nonya

I don't know what to do.
Uncle Eddy's down there in an Diego, I obviously am not. I don't want to go there, even though I do. I want to be there and scream and yell to the top of my lungs ..
I feel that this would be inappropriate.
I feel that this would not go.
But I wanna say.
Why did you abandon me?
What did I do that warranted my being abandoned by you?
Why did you leave me behind without even a word ..
Was I that bad?
Was I such a bad person that I didn't deserve you?
..
Every morning I wake up with that thought.
Every evening I cry myself to sleep with the knowledge that my father does not love me.