J.

It's funny how people change and how what's important changes with them. I ran into J. online - on skype. He's coming to France for a week in March. He's flying forever and spending all that time and money to see a boy he's met once through friends. And he's so wrapped up in all of that, and i am so totally not. J. and I were together for six years. Five and a half years. If you'd ask him he'd say five. I have been single ever since our story collapsed. I've been single for over ten years. Hookups I have had, but no serious boyfriends. I have never even brought anyone home in the last five years. In the whole time I've lived with M. I have never brought a boy home. Not even once. But J. is so into this new guy. He's had another serious (5 years) relationship since me, and he's never been single more than what seems like a day, like, ever.
I found an couple of old letters - I don't remember who they were from. One is from some boy who basically says "too bad you're straight". I don't remember who it was, but I do have a vague memory. I remember a friend of a friend, someone very cute, very handsome, and me being very shit and basically in the closet or not very aware of my feelings. My life may have been very different if I had acted on that interest from another male / man / boy / person with a penis.
It's impossible to say, for sure. But it also means that everything's possible, I suppose.
As for J. and I, he's coming in a couple of weeks. He thought he could stay with me. I kinda wanna discourage him to stay with my mom and I. It's just not convenient or comfortable at all. Maybe we can stay with my sister. In any case, he can afford a hotel for a couple of days. He's not broke, and this is totally a leisure trip for him.