decision

I have made the decision to move back home.
There's just nothin I want here.
Everything about this place just makes me depressed. I told my mom about it and she said that my sister would be pleased. That was the definite turning point: I don't even know why I should live away anymore. I just want to be close to the people I love, and the culture and environment I miss. I have punished myself long enough. If I just stay here I'll only feel more and more miserable. And I'll also go crazy. And postal.
What I see in the future? Getting closer to my family by about eight thousand miles. Being able to see and talk to my mom and sister more often. Having dinner with them, hang out.
It's ironic that near here there is my brother and my father's side of the family and I'm always trying to not see them when they want to see me, and over there it's the opposite.
Deep down I feel that I don't deserve any of this .. but that's not true. It's just something I believe, because it served a purpose. Whatever that purpose was, it's no longer relevant at this time. I'm just sick of all of this bullshit. I want something else. I was happier six years ago living near my mom's. I totally want that back.
I know I can be happy if I try to stay true and stay close to what is true.